Chapter 11: Memory

Summary: Grace and Ryan go visit Kez one more time.

AN: Warning for implied character death

“So according to Kez, the train comes when you’re at a low point in your life,” Grace said. “The problem is figuring out what the threshold of low is.”

“I don’t think there’s a particular threshold,” Simon replied on call. “Kez was humiliated at a party. But we don’t know what those kids were going through for the train to come for all of them at the same time. They couldn’t possibly all have the same problem!”

“Maybe… them being all together made their problem so big that the train had to come for them?” Grace suggested, rolling on her back and letting the phone rest next to her head.

“If that were the case tons of people would be getting picked up at once.”

“...You’re right.”

“I think we should just sleep on it for now, Grace,” Simon sighed before hanging up. Grace got up from her bed and walked out into the hallway. Sure enough, no one was around. Her parents were probably meeting with another super important person who they couldn’t let see Grace lest she embarrass them. Grace rolled her eyes and made her way to the kitchen.

She brought back a container of leftovers into her room and sat at the nook. She looked down outside into the empty parking lot as she ate. She grew restless, unwilling to put the matter aside for the night. After finishing her meal, she left her container at the nook and headed to her bed. She sent a quick text to Ryan to meet her at the park. A few minutes later, Ryan came scrambling over to the bench where Grace was sitting.

“Sorry it took a while, Min’s mom wanted to know where I was going. I think she’s getting really suspicious of what’s going on.”

“You didn’t tell her anything did you?” Grace asked pensively. Ryan shook his head, straightening his hoodie.

“Told her I needed to clear my head because I was feeling nervous about our audition tomorrow.”

“How’s that going, by the way?” she asked. Ryan frowned, rubbing the back of his neck.

“What’d you call me over for, again?” He asked, changing the subject.

“No, I wanna hear about the audition. What’s going on? Do we need to practice? It’s been a while but Simon and I still got it!Is THEE Ryan Akagi getting stage fright?” She teased, placing her arm on his shoulder. Ryan scoffed and gently pushed her off.

“It’s not that, it’s just…” He awkwardly shifted his weight between his feet. “Something…came up about the audition, and I don’t know how to break it to Min-Gi.”

“Whatever it is, I’m sure he’ll understand–”

“He won’t. Not about this.” Ryan sat down on the bench, rolling his head back. “I’m such a crappy boyfriend.”

Grace sat back down on the bench next to him and rested her head on his shoulder.

“I’m sure whatever it is you’ve gotta tell him can’t be that bad.”

Ryan sighed and glanced at Grace.

“They’re only taking one of us,” he admitted with another sigh. “We’re gonna perform for them and then they’ll decide which of us they’re picking. Whichever one of us they pick… it’ll still suck for the everyone.”

The two sat in silence for a while. Ryan kicked around nearby rocks. Finally, Grace spoke up.

“Are you sure you still wanna go through with this audition, then?”

“I have to!” Ryan looked incredulous. This could be our only chance to get out of this damn town. I can’t stay here any longer than I need to. I.. I just can’t stay here anymore.”

“But you said they’d only take one of us!”

“I know. I’ll figure something out. I always do.” Ryan said, running a hand through his hair. “But enough about me. You called me over for something?”

“We gotta go back to Kez,” Grace said. “I have a feeling there’s a little more about the train than she’s letting on.”

“I dunno, we got lucky her sister Judy wasn’t around the last time. She’s definitely home at this hour.”

“Well she’s gonna let us in one way or another. Let’s go.”

The two decided to walk all the way to Kez’s house. Grace watched Ryan’s tense expression but decided not to press him about it.

Portia answered the door once they arrived.

“What are you guys doing back here?” She whispered. “Judy’s back and if she finds out I let you guys back in here–”

“Please, Portia. We just need to ask Kez a few more questions,” Ryan pleaded

“I really don’t think that’s a good idea…”

“Wait!” Kez shows up. “What do you guys want?”

“We just wanna talk a little more,” Grace said, stepping forward. “We can take this outside if you want.”

Kez looked inside the house then back to Grace and Ryan. She nodded.

“I’ll get my jacket,” she said. She turned away, leaving Portia at the door with the two of them.

“Ryan, what’s going on?” Portia finally asked. “And don’t try to give me the run around. Everyone’s been acting all weird around me lately and I’m sick of it.”

“It’s… it’s just none of your business, Portia. Just drop it.” Ryan replied. He sounded harsher than he intended, but the damage was already done. Portia’s eyes widened before narrowing at him. But before she could retort, Kez came back with a sparkly purple jacket on.

“Let’s go,” she said firmly.

“Wait.” Portia stopped her, holding onto her arm. “I’m coming with you guys.”

“Portia, I said–”

“We’re already risking getting in trouble by letting Kez go out with you guys. I might as well figure out what all this fuss is for. I’m not taking a no for an answer.”

“Fine. But whatever you hear stays between us, no matter how outlandish it sounds, got it?” Ryan warned.

“Got it.” Portia left to go get her coat and came back a minute later. The four of them quietly left the house. Kez moved in front of the group, prompting the other three to follow her.

“Where are we going?” Grace asked. “I think we’re far enough from your cousin here.”

“I wanna show you guys something,” Kez said without looking back at her. She led them to an abandoned warehouse. “This is where the train showed up for me.”

“The train showed up for you… in the warehouse?” Ryan asked. Kez nodded.

“It was all glittery and shiny… I love shiny things and at that point I didn’t know where else to go so… I got on.”

“Kez,” Grace started. “Do you remember anything that specifically triggered the train’s arrival?”

Kez shrugged. “I was about to leave the warehouse and go… somewhere when it showed up.”

“You were running away…” Grace mused. “That’s it! The train comes for people who are trying to escape their problems by running away from them!”

“Tulip ran away from us when we were on that trip,” Ryan added. “We never found out why though. But I guess because she was running away the train showed up. I guess it was only supposed to come for her but the others got sucked in anyways.”

“So let me get this straight,” Portia said. “Kez, you got on some weird sparkly train and you’ve been on it for years? You never got off until recently?”

“I couldn’t even if I wanted to. It was way too big and had so many doors. I felt like I was never gonna find the exit.”

“Well, at least you eventually did get out and you’re fine,” Portia said, squeezing Kez’s arm. “I’m glad you’re back. I was worried you’d never come home.”

“Yeah,” Kez laughed weakly, wrapping an arm around Portia. “I’m back…”

“Thanks, Kez,” Grace said, walking up to her. “I know it couldn’t have been easy re-opening up old wounds but we couldn’t have figured it out without your help. How’d you know to come here?”

The older woman shrugged. “I figured going to the place it all began would bring something up. Guess I was right.”

“We can’t thank you enough, Kez. I promise once we find that train and get the kids we’ll find your friends,” Grace said, reaching out to hold Kez’s hands in her own. Almost instantly, a bright light permeates her vision.

When she opened her eyes, she found herself still in the warehouse, but Ryan and Portia were nowhere to be seen. It was just her and Kez in the area. Well, her, Kez, and another Kez in the room. She blinked, wondering if her vision had been messed up so she was seeing double. Sure enough, the two Kez’s remained in the warehouse together. The Kez that was further away from her was sitting in a corner, knees pulled to her chest. The Kez right next to Grace walked over and crouched down.

“Hey,” she said softly. “It’s… gonna be alright.”

She reached out trying to put a hand on her shoulder. Suddenly, something seemed to spark between Kez’s hand and her shoulder, and the former yanked her hand back in pain. Grace realized that she seemed to be viewing Kez’s memory of the events before the present. The only thing she couldn’t figure out was how she got here and how she and Kez could get out of there.

The second Kez got up, eyes downcast. She stalked towards the exit of the warehouse, only to come face to face with what appeared to be a large train that she could see neither the beginning nor the ending rushing by. It came to a grinding halt, one of the train cars stopping right in front of her. The door opened, revealing a glowing portal inside. Memory Kez, as though in a trance, started to walk towards the door.

Grace locked eyes with the first Kez, who looked as bewildered as she did. When she turned back, the world around them had changed. The ground was covered in grass and pumpkins as far as the eye could see. They heard someone coming up ahead, so she pulled Kez behind a particularly large pumpkin and peeked her head around it. A group of people were walking through, one particular couple of people were lagging behind. Grace saw Memory Kez walking beside a young man with white locs tied into two.

“You don’t talk much, huh?” Memory Kez asked with a toothy grin. The guy simply shrugged and kept moving with a small smile. She continued chatting with the guy, walking in circles around him as the group finally passed out of sight. Grace turned and looked at Kez, who was blushing. Grace leaned against the pumpkin and smirked. “Your boyfriend, huh?” she teased. “He was just a friend back then,” Kez said with a chuckle. “But we did become something more over time.”

“What was his name? He sounds like he was really close to you,” Grace asked.

“Well, he never exactly told me his name, just that he went by ‘AD’. And yeah, we were close. He was probably the closest I’d ever been with anyone aside from Portia.”’

“What happened to him?” Grace asked. Almost instantly, the shy smile on Kez’s face deflated. She looked away from Grace.

“I don’t… really wanna talk about it.” Grace nodded and didn’t push the topic further. When she looked up once more, she found herself in front of a large castle surrounded by a moat. She and Kez crossed the bridge into the castle, finding another Kez, AD, and a third woman among them. They looked rattled. Memory Kez held on to AD tightly, resting her head on his shoulder.

“I think we better stay here a few days while we figure out what to do next,” Memory Kez said, dropping her bags and flopping onto the ground. “I’m tired anyways.”

“Get up, Kez,” the woman said derisively. “We don’t even know who’s been here. This place feels haunted.”

“Well, maybe we got lucky and this is a castle filled with friendly ghosts, Morgan,” Memory Kez suggested, her voice muffled by the bags in her face. AD walked over to her and scooped her up from the ground. He carried her over to one of the rooms in the castle. Morgan sighed and headed into another room.

Grace turned and found herself still in the castle, but they were far away from Memory Kez and AD. Winds blew violently around them. Parts of the castle collapsed around them. Memory Kez and AD held onto each other for dear life. Next to her, Grace felt Kez freeze up. She reached out and held her hand, causing the older woman to relax slightly.

“Our group kept getting picked off one by one,” Kez whispered. “This is when we lost Morgan. Turns out there actually was a ghost living in the castle. I guess we pissed him off.”

Grace tried to move to help but she felt herself be stuck in place no matter how much she trudged forward. Eventually the winds stopped, and the two scrambled to look for their third friend. They came across a pile of rubble. After moving some stuff around, Memory Kez gasped and backed away with tears coming to her eyes.

“When you said you kept losing members of your group, I thought you meant that they just left… not that they…”

“...Kez?” Morgan's voice called out. Memory Kez jumped. She looked back into the rubble.

“Kez, what… where the hell am I?”

Her voice surrounded the entire room. Memory Kez kept looking back at the rubble.

“M…Morgan?”

“Is that my… am I dead?” Morgan asked, panic rising in her voice. “What’s going on?”

“We didn’t know how, but somehow Morgan became part of the castle, and it’s been that way ever since,” Kez continued next to Grace. “We never heard from the other ghost ever again, so I guess she took his place. She got the hang of it eventually, but it still felt weird. She was still with us, but not really…”

When Grace looked up again, she seemed to be in some sort of kitchen. Memory Kez and a middle aged man sat talking together.

“Oh, I know how this goes… I’m not ready to face this so soon.” Kez turned away as her alternate self and the old man continued to talk. The two shared a hug. Grace wondered what was so bad about this memory that Kez had to look away.

A bright light grew before them, transforming into what looked like a door that led to the real world. The old man looked at the palm of his hand, then back at Memory Kez. He gave her a quick nod and started to head for the light. Memory Kez tried to reach out for him, yelling for AD and Morgan. The two of them came rushing into the kitchen, but the middle aged man was already through the door. Memory Kez tried to follow him, but she was blocked. She pounded on the rapidly disappearing door repeatedly, but it was to no avail.

Memory Kez turned back to the other two, a look of fear on her face. Those violent winds began to pick up once more. Grace could hear Morgan and Memory Kez yelling, but she could not make out either person’s words. Sharp objects in the kitchen began to float upwards before shooting towards Memory Kez.

“No!” Grace called out, trying to reach out for her. AD got in front of Memory Kez at the last second. Grace looked away as she heard a shriek and the thud of someone hitting the ground.

When she looked up again, she found herself back in the warehouse. She was lying on the cold floor next to Kez. She scrambled up, dusting herself off. Ryan and Portia were staring at them , faces full of concern.

“How long were we out for?” Kez asked, sitting crosslegged on the floor.

“About a few minutes, thankfully,” Portia answered. “Does… stuff like this always happen with you, Kez?”

“Nope. One minute I’m holding Grace’s hands and the next… I’m reliving the worst years of my life.”

“And I was there! I saw everything,” Grace continued. “I don’t know how but it happened.”

“Your visions are getting to the point where they affect other people?” Ryan asked, to Grace’s annoyance.

“Ryan!” she hissed, not wanting more people to know about her weird experiences.

“I’ve gotta say something, this isn’t just about you anymore. We’ve gotta figure out what’s going on before it gets even more out of hand. I bet it has to do with that train,” Ryan crossed his arms, indicating that he would not budge on this topic.

“Let’s just get Kez and Portia home,” she huffed.

After saying goodbye to the two cousins, Ryan walked Grace all the way back to her house. They stood in front of the door, not saying anything.

“Good luck with your audition tomorrow,” she said finally, lightly punching his arm. “I know you and Min-Gi are going to absolutely dominate.”

He gave her a half smile and squeezed her shoulder before leaving Grace alone in the spotlight of her home.